Fun Florida Circus Finds

Florida is a mecca of circus - active and retired performers, performing venues, teaching circuses, museums, and circus STUFF. Me, I'm into the books, because I can take them home with me, unlike the fabulous statues of Cirque du Soleil costumes I saw at the John and Mabel Ringling Museum of Art in Sarasota.

Between the bookstore at that museum, and the flea market, and the antique shops in Arcadia where we were staying, I brought home a small stack. Hubby bought me The Pictorial History of the American Circus by John and Alice Durant. Very cool book with some amazing photos in it and a good, true history of American Circus up to about 1957, when it was published. I also brought back First of May by Charlie Hill. The cover says "At Last! An Authentic circus novel." We'll see. It was on deep-discount at the museum in Sarasota, I got it for $3. It was published through a vanity press, so no telling how many typos there will be. LOL

I also picked up a picture book chronicling one year's Great Circus Parade in Milwalkee, Wisconsin. It is pretty neat to see some of the circus wagons I saw at Circus World in the parade photos. And last but not least, at one of the antique stores I got a copy of Circus Life in Pictures by Johnnie Schmidt. Johnnie traveled with circuses as a clown and archivist. He took some amazing pictures and interacted with some amazing people. I spent two nights down in Florida going through that book with a fine-tooth comb. A cursory search on the 'net hasn't turned up too much about him, and I don't know when he died, although he was born in 1900.

I just wonder what else I would have found if I'd dug through a few more antique stores.

Geez, you'd think I was dead...

I can't believe I've not posted here in forever. No one will read the words if I don't write them, right? LOL

It's been a busy month or so, but I really need to force myself back into working on my book. Work has been a little more nuts lately, and I've had to spend more hours doing that than usual. The boss sent a bunch of us home with brand new Dell computers and a copy of Vista that we could play with. I'm taking this pretty seriously and beating this copy of Vista to death with installs, uninstalls, trying to make it do things and keeping a blog about where it fails. At least it's putting my writing skills to work.

So last week I was looking on Half.com for some circus movies. I've really been wanting to see Circus World with John Wayne. I found a copy for 79 cents. I'm the consumate bargain hunter. LOL

I watched it last night. It was a terrible copy, and I wish I could have gotten it on DVD instead. The movie stared John Wayne and a cute little actress named Claudia Cardinale. It also had Rita Hayworth in it, but oddly enough she only had really a small role. The plot was John Wayne's character heartbroken after losing his woman (Rita) and raising the woman's daughter (Claudia). Apparently they'd been having immoral trysts and the cuckolded husband committed suicide in the ring. John took what was left of his circus to Europe after almost 20 years, chasing down his lost love. He finally finds her, and Claudia figures out by accident that Rita is her mother. All ends well, of course.

Now, to find time to write...

Now I have a reason to be nervous

Last night Gianino Zoppe called me. He had gotten my email, and he called me by my given name (which I hadn't given him) so I think he probably checked up on my references before he called. That's okay by me, one of the things I hoped for is that he wouldn't think I was a Nino Stalker.

Of course, the timing was such that he got my voice mail, and left me a message that he'd love to do an interview and giving me his phone number.

I was so excited, just hearing his lightly accented voice on my voice mail. I had really given my request for an interview a less than 50/50 shot of working. I proved myself wrong!

So now I sit here in front of a blank page trying to come up with a reasonable list of questions I want to ask him. I don't want to have too many, he's doing me a great favor by doing an interview in the first place. But I need to ask the questions that need to be answered in order to fill out my main male character, too. I don't want to ask too many personal questions, but I need to ask some, so that I understand how he lives, why he performs, what his life is like outside of the ring. That's the part of my characterization that is not coming together well.

That is my job this afternoon...to get my list of questions ready. Then I can be prepared for my interview, which I hope to conduct tonight or tomorrow.

Why am I so nervous?

I finally decided after a week of continuing to play around with my story that my clown is just not going to become three-dimensional unless I get more research. I need to talk to a clown who is like my main character. I need to talk to Giovanni Zoppe.

I sent an email last night, that it took me over an hour to compose, and am hoping for the best. An in-person interview would be best, I think, and I wouldn't mind driving to northern IL where they have winter quarters. Believe it or not, I'd be less nervous face-to-face with him than I would be on the phone. In a face-to-face interview I could get all the nuances of facial expression and body language, and hope to capture some of the passion of the man who is Nino the Clown. Phone interviews are hard for me...they always have been.

We'll see if I get a response.

Sebastian!!

While I still tangle with this issue of making Tino "real" in my book (he is flat as a board right now), I continue to meet people that inspire and intrigue me in the areas of characterization.

On Thursday, my husband and I bought a Toyota Previa minivan from a man named Sebastian (leaving his last name out here as it might be an invasion of privacy). He hadn't seemed all that interesting on the phone, but in person, I was struck by several things. It occurred to me that I needed a man like this in my book.

He spoke with a muted German accent; definitely there but dulled somewhat by years in the states. He was tall, about 6' 4" if I had to guess, but not in an imposing way. He was slender but not emaciated, and had the bluest eyes I think I've ever seen short of my husband's. He shook hands firmly when we made the deal on the van, spoke firmly but softly. He gave off the appearance of calm effectiveness, yet beneath the surface, there seemed to be a roiling river of passion that could have erupted at any time. Yeah, I know that sounds trite, but it was almost like a feeling of "still waters run deep" with this guy.

Definitely a character I needed in my novel. I believe he will replace my existing ringmaster/owner character (Sam). I would have added him in and made him ringmaster and maybe performance director, but with a circus such as mine, the owner would have too little to do if I put in a secondary character. And I don't need a "right-hand man" for the owner, either, as I've developed that character already in the form of the circus "Patch," Marty.

Today I'm going to see what Sebastian can tell me about himself as I sit at my computer screen. Then I need to bite the bullet and do the same with Tino, who is getting flatter and flatter every day, instead of developing into something.

Writing Every Day

I really try to write every day. These days, most of that writing is not in my novel, however. I keep up with my blogs, and the forums that I'm a member of, and writing on email lists I'm a member of. Then I'm all worn out and have no energy left for working on my novel!

Doesn't seem quite fair sometimes.

But writing is writing, and I do believe it all counts.

I have almost finished Bird By Bird, the book by Anne Lamott. Excellent read and I highly recommend it to anyone trying to write. She is very upfront about what you can expect from your writing, that you will likely not get rich, and how to avoid some of the pitfalls of your own internal editor and feelings of persecution so that you can really write well. I will probably finish it today, and hopefully use some of the techniques to get my novel back on track. One thing I have read with interest in the book is about how to develop characters. This is something I'm having a very hard time with right now; my main male character is about as flat as a piece of paper. I haven't yet figured out how to make him reveal himself to me, and some of Anne's techniques might do the trick.

Now, to carve out some writing time...

Twenty-Dollar Words

When I was in college and learnng all kinds of things on my way to getting my English degree with a Certificate to teach (which I never finished and instead ended up with something totally different - but that's another story), I loved using big new words on my family. When I'd use a particularly big word, my dad would say it was a twenty dollar word.

Well, I've brought it down a notch, and I don't use all the big words I can. But I still love words. I have a book called the Grand Pajundrum, which I adore because it gives you all kinds of little-known words with their meanings. And my latest purchase, from the Barnes and Noble $2 "last chance" clearance table no less, is a book called I Always Look Up the Word Egregious. The subtitle is "a vocabulary book for people who don't need one."

Yup, that's me. I don't really NEED a vocabulary book, but I like them. I like to find new words, even if I won't use them any time soon. It's fun to just randomly open a page and find a word that you've never heard before. Today's word is:

Sophistry

"Supporters of the tax credit brush aside the distinction, noting that only a modest amount of it would go to the truly affluent. but that is sophistry; the only reason few rich people would be helped by the tax credit is that there aren't very many rich people."

Sophistry has an unfavorable connotation and means arguing deceitfully, attempting to turn a poor case into a good one by means of clever but specious reasoning.

Hmm. I think I can use the technique, even if I can't use the word.

RIP Moxie

This is also cross-posted in my Momilies Blog.

Moxie while we were feeding all three elephants special treats.

We received word yesterday that one of Doug Terranova's elephants died this past Tuesday. The suspected cause was Encephalomyocarditis, a disease that strikes suddenly and causes death within hours. Moxie was 23 years old, quite young.

We know that Doug, and his assistant Adam, who worked with Moxie on a daily basis, are heartbroken. We are too. It is hard to know what to say; Moxie was a member of Doug's family. By association, he was a part of ours, too.


Moxie (right) and Congo playing kissyface.

The Baraboo News Republic had a comprehensive and heartbreaking article about the loss of Moxie. We're going to miss him.


Moxie (left) and the girls coming back from a bath in the Baraboo River (picture courtesy of Adam Johns, Animal Encounters, Texas)

Peace and Quiet, I need Peace and Quiet!!

Getting my Circus acts set up in the right order and understanding their characters has been more complex than I wish it was. But without it I'm having trouble moving my story forward. I have too many conflicting characters/occupations to go on without getting this part of the novel set in cement.

I worked most of Monday on the second half of the show. Despite having sat at my computer and worked pretty much five or six hours, I only managed to finish that second half. Part of it was that I needed to actually do some more research and understand the acts better, but part of it was that I could not get enough peace and quiet to actually work. Despite the fact that I had my headphones on, I was interrupted over and over again by the kids, by hubby, by the phone, by the TV being too loud, to really get a good amount of work done.

I am getting frustrated at how slowly this is moving. I really thought I'd have this finished by now. I am nowhere close to finished. I still don't know my characters well enough to get this story moving; some key characters are developing nicely, but the main clown character is still ethereal and ghost-like. No substance, just smoke and clouds. Something somewhere is not clicking for me.

Hopefully before this weekend, I'll have the first half of the show completely written so at least I have a complete show. Then maybe I need to sit and just brainstorm about my main male character. He needs substance. I need to know who he is, what he's about, what drives him, what will make him overwhelmingly attracted to my female main character, and what will make him irresistible to her. I think I'm having much more fun writing about the relationship between Emma (FMC) and Robbie (the gay wardrobe/makeup guy), and that is distracting me.

Big White Sheet

One thing I noticed when I was reading through what I'd already writte was how big the plot holes are. Sometimes we Nano-ers make reference to "plot holes you could drive a semi through." Well, mine are so big and chopped up that I feel like a semi truck MADE them in the first place.

I almost feel like I need to cover my novel with a big white sheet and declare it dead. LOL

But I won't. Because despite the plot holes, it's a really good story. Or it will be if I ever get it fixed up. Right now, no amount of duct tape and hot glue are gonna do the trick. It's a crappy first draft.

But without the crappy first draft, you can't do a great second draft, and an even greater third draft. You can't ever have a great novel unless you bother to write that crappy first draft. I'm forever thankful to Nano for allowing me to write, for giving me permission to write, that first big crappy draft.

So today I'm going to try to match my characters up to their occupations; I wrote that first crappy draft in such fits and starts that I made one guy a trapeze artist in the first chapter, but by the last chapter he was riding bareback horses. My performers are good, but they aren't THAT good. I also need to match the kids the school teacher is working with to their appropriate parents and the parents' occupations.

Hubby says, "just leave it blank and fill it in later." It doesn't work that way. Determining these occupations and places early in the beginning is critical to getting them where they need to be at the end of the book. So I have my work cut out for me.

Bird by Bird

I've just recently started reading Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott. It was recommended to me by another Nano-er, and I bought it last year, but had not gotten around to reading it. I've finished the introduction and first chapter, and it's a good read. Anne is blunt, but pleasant about it, and I find that kind of refreshing.

Her attitude is that just because you don't write well, or may write well but will never be published because of the tight market, doesn't mean you shouldn't write. I've been writing for years, with nary a hope for publication for the most part. But it hasn't stopped me from writing.

And I don't think it should stop anyone else either!

"Wanna write? Then write, right now!" as Erma Bombeck would say.

And that's exactly what I'm doing, for publication or pay or not, I'm still writing. If I don't, my head will asplode!

A New Year

Well, after dutifully letting my novel sit for a month, I drug it out of the mothballs and started looking at it. What is there isn't bad. There are some major inconsistencies and plot holes you could drive a B59 through, but all-in-all the story reflects what I was attempting.

Of course, there's the problem of not having finished the story...I need to get going on that, for sure. There is very much to complete, right in the middle, and a bunch at the end, before the ending that I did write before I stopped writing in November.

That made absolutely no sense. I started the story at the beginning but had an inspiration about something about 2/3 of the way through so I skipped ahead and wrote that. Then I had an inspiration about the end, so I skipped ahead and wrote that. Then I went back and kept writing from where I'd left off at the beginning of the story. That B52 I was talking about? Well, I think I have a whole Air Force full of them blowing through my story.

So, limbering up my fingers, I'm going to get back to work. I really want to write this story. Wherever it takes me, I want to write it. I'd love to have it done before the next Circus season starts. I may not make it, but I'm going to try.

Wow, I made it!

Hard to believe, but I DID make it this year, despite everything that tried to get in my way. I reached my 50,000 goal more than two hours before midnight. And like a good doobie yesterday, I went ahead and made my yearly donation to Nano to keep it going.

I think this year has been the worst for funding; there are so many people participating, but very few who are willing to even put up $5 to help keep this thing going.

It's not much to ask for a program that has done so much for writers world-wide. I'm one of them, and I've donated at least $25 every year, along with buying merchandise, and this year even making an in-kind donation for their startup as well. Any funds above and beyond what is needed to run Nano is donated to building and furnishing books to libraries in third world countries. This is a good cause and how can I not donate to such a great cause?

I hope others who participated this year will find it in their hearts to donate as well. Even $5 will help. Let's not let Nano fall to wrack and ruin because we were too cheap to help support their funding needs. Without Nano, we'd not be writing novels, and we wouldn't have the fabulous forums to hang out on, and we would not have all the cool widgets and etc. to work with during Nano.

'nuff said. I think I need to catch up on some sleep. Tomorrow I'll continue writing, as I've not finished my story, just my 50,000. I have a long way to go.

35,000 words but it's still early

I realized this past weekend that I'd written 32,000 words on my Nano, which is wonderful. However, in the line of my story, I am only about four days into the storyline itself, which is actually supposed to run about four months.

So I'm looking at this 32,000 words, figuring I'm about 1/10th through my story or less, and who's going to want to read a book that's 300,000 words long?

Hmmm. There's a lot of detail I'm trying to cover. Much of what I'm writing is explanatory; it needs to be explained in order for the reader to understand the story. There is a lot of terminology that the ordinary reader wouldn't understand. This is different than anything I've written before, so it is taking me some time to work through it. It should make the editing process interesting, at the very least.

I am up to 35,000 words as of today. I hope to get to 50,000 this weekend. However, I'm going to be bogged down by family plans that I don't normally make this time of year, so that may limit what I'm able to produce. But I still have until next Thursday, so I'm sure I'll make it, if only barely.

Another Circus!

Tonight we'll go see Ringling's show. This is their last stop before folding for the winter. I missed last year's show because I was in Colorado on business; this year at least I will get to see it. Even though the circus in my book is not Ringling-style, it's still good to see the acts that are out there, and how the "big boys" do it. Ringling is still the biggest of the big boys, although that may be changing.

I'm over 27,000 words in my novel and I'm still in the beginnning of the story. It's only been three days in my characters' lives. This book is going to be huge, at this rate. But I should make my 50,000 for Nano easily, since we still have basically two weeks. I'm buzzing along. Some nights writing is easier than others. But I can produce 2,000 or more words an hour when I get on a roll, so it goes by quickly.

Back Home

Well, I'm back home after a week in Colorado. I didn't get as much writing done as I'd like, but I did put a hurting on it. I'm at about 13K now.

And I have an overbooked week this week, so we'll see how much I actually get done. Today is already booked up for most of the morning and afternoon. Tomorrow night I'm on a panel for a round table discussion, Tuesday night I have to go the library for the Young Nano Writers group that I'm part of, Wednesday is my social night with a local group (and I can't get out of it), and Thursday we're supposed to be at the Ringling show. I guess I can call Thursday research if I have to.

LOL

I have a couple hours this morning so I'm going to write and see how far I can get.

Boy, is this HARD

I've had a lot more trouble writing this year than I have in past years of Nano. I may have burnt myself out a bit early on with the whole research thing. Now I'm trying to catch up.

As of this moment I'm at 9,000 words plus and plenty of time to get out another thousand or two before bed. This is my last night in the hotel with quiet to write, so I should take advantage of that while I can.

Tonight's soundtrack is the CD from Cirque du Soleil's Quidam. Nice music, sucky show. LOL

Lily Lake

Every year when I come to Colorado in November, I make sure I drive up along the Peak to Peak Trail, a scenic highway that runs from Estes Park all the way to Nederland. It is a beautiful drive, and no matter how many times I do it, I still love it.

This picture came from this year's trip. My picture from two years ago ended up on the cover of my second NanoNovel, now published through Lulu (link to the right of my blog). Every time I go, it is different, but somehow still the same. This year the lake was starting to freeze, and there was some snow, but not much. It was snowing over the highest peaks, but only flurrying where we were.

Now, today I start my conference, and tonight I'm going to have to buckle down and do some serious writing. SERIOUS! I am so far behind. Agh!!

Writing and Having Fun!!

I did manage to write last night, almost 2000 words. I'm glad, because I was feeling like I was falling further and further behind. I had a really nice day yesterday, driving around in the mountains with my friends, so it is worth it that I'm behind, but still. At least my altitude sickness is gone this morning, and I feel normal again. Today we are heading into the mountains again, and tonight I should get some good writing done. The rest of the week should yield better results for my writing, as I'll be in a hotel room with nothing to do in the evenings. Yippee for me!

I'm in print!!

The article about me and my erotica appeared in today's Riverfront Times. It's a positive article, and appeared at the top of the Unreal column in the actual paper. This is the FIRST feature of the paper each week, which means I appeared at the very beginning of everything, just past the table of contents pages. That's pretty darned cool.

And I'm also happy that the article spins me and big girls in a mostly positive light. It is said sometimes that prejudice against fat people is the last "safe" prejudice. I don't know about that, but it seems that it's okay to bash fat people.

I, for one, don't care one way or the other. I'm old enough not to have to explain myself to everyone, or to have to justify my human womanhood.