*Sob*

I just finished I Love You Honey, But the Season's Over and find myself a little blue. It ended a bit abruptly, as if the author ran out of steam, but then, I think I understood too how it did all just seem to end, just like that, suddenly and as if there had been no warning. To a 17 year old girl traveling with circus and not having any background in performing whatsoever, it had to have been very overwhelming.

I'm torn a bit about whether or not I should read anything else at this point, especially anything that will make me sad! I have not looked at my outline in weeks, nor have I done any further character development. I should probably invest some time in that area of things, at least for a while. We are just over a month away from being able to write. There are still a couple interviews I have to take care of, but I'm trying not to think too far ahead. Thursday is the tent-raising for Kelly Miller Circus in Troy, IL, I just received confirmation from their show PR person. So I'm going to invest energy in that today. Have also just received the fancier, digital SLR camera I purchased on eBay. I hope that this will allow me to take the kind of pictures I need to take on Thursday. My point and shoot just doesn't respond fast enough and I lose a lot of shots, especially those with movement.

On another note, I received a series of emails from Jeremiah's mother. She had read some of my blog entries on Momilies and wanted to be sure that I knew Jeremiah was okay, and that he blew the show for a good reason. We have been having some interesting conversations since then.

Since Jeremiah is a model for one of the characters in my book and I've mentioned this in my other blog that zillions of people read, now I'm a bit worried about writing about him. I am of course going to take a massive amount of poetic license with his character, making him a virtual orphan, and giving the character a whole lot more problems than Jeremiah has in real life. I have a feeling this may upset his mother. I did make a stab at explaining to her that any characters in the book that were modeled after real persons would be quite exagerated and not really themselves. How do you explain that yes, this character was modeled after your son, but only a tiny little kernel of your son really remains, and that I'm not disparaging him or his mother by doing what I do with the character in the book?

As a writer, I really need to be true to the character. In reality, I may have met someone that inspires me, and who gets morphed into a character that we can either love or hate as a reader. I need to be true to that, or my book loses its appeal, and loses its vision of what it should be.

But as a person, I never intend to hurt anyone. And I don't want to hurt this woman, or God forbid, Jeremiah either.

I can already see what I'm going to be dreaming about tonight. Damn this worrying writer's brain, that just can't stop messing with the Rubik's cube that is my story, trying to piece it together in a nice neat little package.